Willingly and Joyfully
by Darkira
Summary: A sequel to Find You Worthy. This continues the story of Jasper and Edward who are now more whole and less broken. They are in very much in love and everything seems to be perfect. But life throws them another curveball. How will they manage? AU/AH/M/J
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** Nothing Twi is mine. This story, however, is.

**Author's Note:** This is the first chapter of Willingly and Joyfully, a sequel to Find You Worthy. You should read FYW first, otherwise a lot of the stuff in this one make absolutely no sense.

Also, I have no clue how long this story will be. Maybe as long as FYW or maybe only a few chapters, depending on how the story comes out of my head...

Also, **read the Author's Note in the end.** :) Thanks.

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**Willingly and Joyfully**

Chapter 1

EPOV

It took us time to get the trip organized and to get to this point where we were now, laying in the midday sunshine in a lush private garden somewhere very warm.

Esme had organized this for us through her agent who was a powerhouse of a woman and absolutely adored me and Alice. So a bit after New Year's we hopped on to a plane and flew to this tropical paradise.

I turned my head to look at Jasper beside me. He was laying on his stomach, his eyes closed but there was a tiny hint of a smile on his lips. It was adorable, he was so relaxed here, so perfectly himself. Nobody was here to gawk at us and make him feel uncomfortable in any way. We were outside the civilization and completely dependent on the help from the maid that came over with our groceries every other day and cleaned the place for us.

We had booked the place for two weeks and this was the first day of the last week. The days we had spent here had been used productively by relaxing and enjoying each other's company. Because Jasper was so different here, he had been open and surprised me by some of the things he had told and showed me.

The sex was awesome as well. It always was, but when he lost his inhibitions completely like he did here... There was no hint of that introverted, shy and awkward Jasper I had first met. That person had vanished. I was so glad he had changed like this, he had been much more sure of himself back at home too.

It seemed so strange how we both had changed. Our loved ones commented about it every now and then. Sometimes it was lovely, like when Alice told me she loved how my eyes were different, more brilliant and warm. It could be annoying too, when for the hundredth time one of our friends told us that they never thought I'd stop partying or they never thought Jasper would actually go for a pint in a pub casually like we now could.

That felt like rubbing salt to the old wounds; some of it got through and it still burned.

Mostly we were just fine. We were happy and in love and everything was falling in to place, slowly but surely. We were meant to be, there was no doubt about that.

My parents loved Jasper and we spent weekends at their place every now and then as they had the room. I was bonding with my father while Jasper and mother were having a ton of fun and discussed what ever came to their minds over a glass or three of wine.

On Halloween we had gone trick or treating with Emmett's girls. It had been a blast, even Jasper had had fun because of his hockey mask on so he could hide a bit. He did laugh a bit sarcastically, that the one day of the year when he didn't really have a mask he would wear one willingly. Yes, he got a glare from me and blushed immediately. Nobody, not even himself, would put my Jasper down like that.

Little Angie wanted to dress as a jet pilot and Jess was Pocahontas. They dragged us around the neighborhood and whole that time Emmett and Rose sat on the front porch of Em's house, either making out or giving our candy for the kids that came trick or treating.

Thanksgiving was one big party at my parents' place. They had somehow managed to befriend Jasper's parents so those four and Gran Whitlock were there. Emmett and Rose were there too, without the girls this time as Bella had taken them to her dad's place.

Alice was there, of course. She was single at the moment and plotted with Rose to find her a suitable guy somehow. I didn't want to know. It was nice to see how our lives were somehow mixing together so seamlessly.

The best part for us both was that Kate and Garrett were there with C.J.

Kate's sisters lived in Alaska and in Australia and all the rest of her family was more or less estranged and her parents had passed away years ago. Garrett was from Ireland, so the family he had remaining was back in Britain and he wasn't very close to any of them.

"You are our family now." Kate told me and Jasper as he handed the baby over to my arms and Jasper tried to hide the tears. We group-hugged and when Garrett saw that, he rushed over and joined the hug.

By Christmas we had babysat C.J. multiple times. It gave Kate and Garrett some time and even when they dropped the baby off early in the afternoon while Jasper was still at work, everything went fine. I had never been in to the idea of having children, but now we were actually discussing it.

Rosalie and Emmett were more or less of an item and Rose had gradually moved over to Emmett's place. Surprisingly Bella was fine with all this. In fact Emmett kept complaining that his ex-wife and his girlfriend were bonding over his annoying habits, or something on those lines anyway.

It was amusing. The changes me and Jasper meeting brought to so many people. Without us Rose and Em might have never met and they were clearly perfect for each other. I know they were speaking of getting married next summer. They tried to hide it from the rest of us but everyone could tell how happy they were because 'their smiles could light up whole of Washington State' as Grandma Whitlock said.

Things were just perfect. The only thing that was amiss was my lack of job or anything that interested me enough for me to pursue it. I had been thinking about studying, but that was my last option. I felt like I was too old to study anymore. My mother reminded me that I hadn't really studied that hard, ever, so maybe it was time. She might have had a point there.

I returned back to reality from my reminiscence when Jasper opened his bright eyes and looked at me lovingly.

"What?" he asked in a lazy tone as he stretched beside me on the blanket we had spread to the green grass of the garden.

"Oh I was just thinking how much fun it will be when someone realizes you don't have any tan lines." I smirked and grabbed a handful of his gorgeous ass.

He yelped and the sound changed in to a content purr when I kneaded the flesh with my fingers.

"You won't have any either." he pointed out and I grinned.

Perks of a private garden.

"That is true. I think it might make things a bit too disturbing for others." I smirked and he chuckled.

"You know..." he said thoughtfully, with a slight mischievousness in his gaze and I wondered what he was getting at.

"I know a lot of things, what exactly do you mean?" I prompted when he was just quiet for a moment.

Jasper stuck his tongue at me and then blushed.

"Oh come on, can't be that difficult, love." I told him and ran my fingertips along his back, drawing patterns on his skin.

"Just that...I really want to make love to you but I'm too lazy to move." he said and his eyes averted my gaze for a moment.

I blinked and went "Oh..." before I grinned a bit.

"I think that can be arranged." I murmured and he blushed again. Oh gods how adorable he could be sometimes...most of the time..always.

We were in a committed relationship now, we both had been tested and even though I wanted to be truly certain I didn't carry anything I could pass on to him, we had gotten the all clear from my dad after getting back the tests when I was sick. I had had them repeated again and I wanted to get tested once more in a few months just to be sure. Jasper had insisted on not using condoms anymore. He said he trusted me and well if my dad said that it was almost 100% certain that I was truly clean...yeah. I wasn't able to deny Jasper anything, including this.

"We don't have any lube here though." I said as I shifted and leaned closer to nip at the skin on his shoulder.

Jasper blushed, reached under the edge of the blanket and produced a bottle of lube.

"Sneaky!" I laughed out loud. He was taking initiative. I liked that. "Were you planning on seducing your poor unsuspecting boyfriend?" I asked and he smirked but said nothing, just tossed the lube at me.

"Oh okay..." I said in a tone that suggested that I was doing him a favor and he rolled his eyes at me and pretended to ignore me by turning his head to the other side so I didn't see his face.

I grinned and moved to sit next to his form. I began to rub his calves, one at a time, slowly working up to his thighs and stopping just below his buttocks.

His ignoring tactics weren't working by the way he let out some moans every now and then.

My hands moved above his ass to massage his back. I knew the knots he had on his lower back and under his shoulderblades and I worked on them for a long time.

The sun was leaving us in to the shade of the large trees next to us so there was no fear of burning to crisp anymore. We could take out time here, the thought made me smile as I got to his neck and leaned to kiss and nip at the skin there.

He was so lovely. Sometimes I still wondered how this man had ever agreed to be mine. What had I done to deserve him. All I could do was to show him how much I loved him, every day.

I saw a content smile on his lips and leaned to kiss the corner of his mouth before I straddled his thighs and began kneading his buttocks. He moaned again, but the tone was different immediately. Someone was being slightly wanton. The thought turned me on and blood flowed to where it would be soon needed the most.

I took the lube and popped the bottle open, just to see Jasper shiver and I smirked but didn't say a thing. I spread my own legs and Jasper did the same with his to allow me more access. For a moment I just sat there, looking at him.

His thick, messy curls were sunkissed like never back home, he said. In a week his hair had turned in to light blonde on top and when his skin had tanned, the contrast was just striking. All his firm muscles on his back rippled when he shifted a bit impatiently and I was snapped out of my reverie.

Chuckling, I squeezed a generous amount of lube on his gorgeous ass before tossing the bottle to the side and spreading his buttocks to spread the lube with my fingers. His hips bucked a but and I chuckled out loud again. I could tell he was blushing.

It was funny how he could be the most confident man I had ever met when he was in control. Asking something like this, even when he knew I would jump to the opportunity, he was so timid and it was difficult to remember how easily his confidence was shattered by few wrong words. Of course now he got over that pretty quickly because he knew that both my love and lust for him were unconditional. It still wasn't nice to hurt him, even for a few seconds.

I dipped my fingers low, slowly caressing his perineum and making him squirm as he tried not to demand for more.

"Don't be impatient, babe, it will just make me want to torture you some more..." I purred at him and he immediately stopped moving. I had trained him so well...

After the massage and being turned on already, he was so relaxed that two of my fingers slid inside him practically with no resistance at all. I moved them in and out of him slowly, rolling my wrist and massaging him with my fingertips, occasionally brushing against his prostate which made him make the most wanton sounds ever.

After several minutes of this I stroked my cock with my free hand and I know Jasper could tell what I was doing by the way I was slightly rocking my hips without touching him.

"Edward...please..." he moaned after another nudge to his sweet spot. I had to smile at the tone he was using. It was so...Jasper. Needy and wanton and shy and loving at the same time.

I rubbed my cock against his slick crack and he moaned again, this time I moaned with him. Unable to hold back suddenly, the desire for him sometimes rushed over me like a huge wave, I pushed in to him, one movement of my hips and I was buried to the hilt.

Our moans got tangled up, twisting together and turning in to one single sound that wasn't heard but anyone but the two of us.

I pulled out of him, almost fully, and then pushed back in to him, as deep as I could. Leaning in to him I bit his shoulder, leaving a mark there just because we both liked to bite and to be bitten somehow.

It had become our thing, sometimes when I woke up in the morning and Jasper had left for work, I would go brush my teeth and grin goofily at the bruises or faint bitemarks on my shoulders or chest. No, they weren't hickies, we were both a bit too old for that. They were also in places that were easily covered with a tshirt.

I pulled out of him after a while and he looked at me surprisedly. Without explaining I pulled him up by his hips and he leaned to his knees, his ass sticking up a bit. I shifted behind him, finding a better angle as I pushed back in to him, making him whimper and then moan in such a lovely way my hips moved forward by the sound of it and I filled him as completely as it was possible.

"Jasper..." I gasped and began to rock my hips as slow as possible. I was making love to him in this secluded little piece of paradise and I don't think anything could make things any more perfect.

We were lost in the lovemaking, he forgot his resolve on letting me do all the work and got up to his knees, pressing his back to my chest and turned his head to kiss me. My hands went around him as I touched him where I could, loving the silk of his skin and the rougher patches of the scars on his chest that I never failed to touch lovingly.

"I need to see you..." he whispered after a kiss and pulled away from me. He turned to face me and laid back on the blanket. We had pretty much exhausted our imaginations with various positions over the last week, but this was always our favorite. Face to face, his legs wrapped around me so we could be as close to each other as we could.

I didn't enter him immediately and he looked puzzled briefly, until I backed a bit and leaned to wrap my lips around his erection, tasting him and humming around him. I knew to wait it by now, so I relaxed my throat as his hips moved forward and he mumbled something incoherent. I wanted him to be close when I'd push in to him again, I knew that being close like this would make my self control vanish easily, no matter how much I'd try to prolong it.

When the telltale signs of him being on the brink of his orgasm were suddenly there, his moans were more throaty, his skin was flushed and he fisted my hair in his hands, I pulled my head away and he tried not to sound disappointed but didn't quite manage.

I moved closer to him and positioned myself against his entrance. Then I looked in to his eyes and our gazes locked. The feeling of looking in to his eyes while entering his body like that made my eyes roll back and the eye contact break. By then we didn't mind.

Suddenly his legs were pulling me in to him and his arms wrapped around me as I kissed him almost chastely like I always did at first. After that it was like someone flicked a switch and I moved my hips faster, our kisses were deeper and the sounds of our skins slapping together and the moans and gasps from us filled the little garden around us.

The feeling of love was what always hit me in these moments. How we were proclaiming our love by the physical act of lovemaking. It had never before made any sense to me, the word itself. There had only been the silly Hollywood-ideal of romance and love and lovemaking. With Jasper I knew what they were talking about in all those movies.

Suddenly his back arched and he tensed before his whole body convulsed around me, his muscles clenching around my cock as he bit down to my shoulder, hissing and moaning in ecstasy between his teeth.

That was enough to send me over edge and I groaned as the orgasm took me over and for a moment there was nothing but the pleasure and the pain and the love.

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A couple of days later, on Wednesday, I clicked my laptop on. We were supposed to get back home on Saturday and I wanted to check on the flight details yet again. I hadn't checked my email in a full 24 hours which Jasper called a miracle.

It was the usual junk mail and then one from Alice, one from Rosalie and one from Emmett. What the hell?? All the titles were strange.

I clicked the first one, Alice's mail.

"_Edward, put on your damn cellphone. Something bad has happened. You need to get home as soon as possible. Nothing in our family. Just...it's bad. Ali."_

My heart was racing as I opened Rose's email .

"_What ever you do, Edward, don't let Jasper answer the phone when you put it on. Please. He'll hear that something is really horribly wrong and it'll kill him. I can't tell you like this either. Phone? NOW? Rosalie"_

Emmett's note didn't have a headline which alarmed me more than anything.

"_Eddie, I know the girls won't tell you over email, but you need to know before you open your cell. Garrett's family was in a car accident. It's really bad. First, book the flight back home and then open the damned phone! Em"_

I tried to breathe evenly. Oh how glad I was that Jasper had gone to take a shower right now.

I booked us the first flight possible and went to get my phone from the side table. I closed my laptop and went to the garden.

With shaking hands I pushed the button and when the phone woke up, I dialed the number of the maid whose husband was our driver here. I told her we needed to get a ride in the next morning, before dawn and that we were going because of a family emergency and they'd be compensated and paid extra for these changes.

After the call I sat there for a few minutes, catching my breath and tried to will my heartbeat down I was about to push the button to call someone who could tell me more when the phone came to life.

Rosalie.

"Rose?" I asked and she sobbed from relief because I answered.

"Edward!" I could hear the desperation in her tone and I knew it was bad.

"Garrett and Kate and the baby got in to a car accident. They were on the highway, heading to meet some friend of Kate's and a truck came out of nowhere and..." her tone was frantic, too fast, too high.

I heard Emmett's low voice from somewhere and suddenly it was him whose voice I heard.

"Ed, Garrett died on impact. Kate is hanging on a thread but I think she'll be gone before you get here." he said, my always so happy and easygoing friend sounded so sad, so devastated that I could feel the tears running down my face before I realized I was crying.

"C.J.?" I managed to say and there was a gasp from behind me, I turned around and saw Jasper who looked alarmed, his face went from scared to mortified as soon as he saw my tears.

"Edward he's fine. He was in the back of the car in his car seat and he had a few bruises but nothing else. Call me with the details when you know when you're back and I'll come pick you up from the airport." he spoke fast and then added "We love you both." before disconnecting the call.

"Edward?" Jasper whispered from behind me and reached a hand to him so he would come to me. My feet were weak and I sat down in the cool grass.

When he sat down and looked like he wanted to shake me, I took his hands in to mine and looked at him. Why oh why it had to be me who had to tell him?

"Jasper, there's been a serious accident." I could hear him wail as his pain got out through his voice but I needed to speak now so I could hold him and we could be there for each other.

"Garrett's family. Jasper my love, Garrett died immediately," nothing could ever prepare you to seeing someone's eyes when you told them their best friend, their soulmate on a friendship level, was dead, "Kate won't make it either."

Jasper began to rock as he sat there, his eyes closed and the sound he made hurt my physically.

"Honey, listen to me, Jasper," I said his name in a loud voice to get through to him as he was so consumed in the tragedy that he had completely forgot to ask about C.J. "your godson is fine. C.J. will be fine, he wasn't hurt at all. The baby is okay." I kept telling him the same thing over and over again, it became a mantra I was repeating to keep us both sane through the time we sat in the grass, clutching to each other, crying and wailing and grieving for the loss of the two most loving and caring people in our strange little family.

They had loved us as much as we loved them. They had made us a part of their little family where they had none. Both of them were my family too, not just Jasper's and with them and the baby we formed a family unit of our own. Sometimes Kate had joked about C.J. having three dads instead of one and I had seen it in Garrett's eyes, that he agreed with his lovely wife. We five were a family. And now it was just us three and we had no knowledge of what would happen to the baby now. What if we'd lose C.J. too?

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**AN2, and it is EPIC:** First of all, I know, Dark Absynthe will kick my ass for leaving it to another cliffie but I don't care. :p She won't be the only one coming after me either.

I want to take this opportunity to thank my extremely lovely new beta Beautiful Figment who has **not **betaed this story, as **this story won't be betaed until FYW has been worked on** which might take who knows how long. However, she is betaing **my next multi-chapter**, which is going to be published sometime soon-ish. The story will be called **Brand New Start** and it has a **blog**, which you will find through **my profile**.

You should also **follow me on Twitter**. My username there is DarkiraFF.

Last but not least, it's about a week for the **Fandom Gives Back-auction**. Now here's a great idea: go see my thread, collect all the money you can from your loved ones and tell them it's your Christmas present. ;)

No matter what it says in the stories' author's notes, I am willing to write anything Twi. Even to my stories that aren't meant to be continued. So go to this address to find out more. It's for a good cause, for the kids and cancer research. **thefandomgivesback(dot)proboards(dot)?board=fic&action=display&thread=44**

[/end epic AN2]


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **All things Twi are property of S. Meyer. All I have are my words and my wicked imagination.

Author's Note can be found at the bottom.

**xxxXXxxx**

JPOV

I don't remember much of that evening.

I remember sitting in the garden, holding and being held by Edward. We cried for a long time, until we were both exhausted. I knew he cried for me as well, he knew what Garrett and Kate meant to me.

When we had to go inside I sat curled up on the bed and watched him pack all our belongings, never asking me to help. He let me be and think and I'll be forever grateful for that. I knew Garrett wouldn't want me to stop and turn in to myself. I knew Kate wouldn't either, I hoped I could see her once more but I wasn't counting on that.

Later, Edward said that he knew I'd break again after the initial breakdown I had in the garden. He knew because I could collect myself so soon.

"Do you know any lawyers?" I asked him, blinking and concentrating my gaze to him.

"My tenant is a lawyer, remember? But I know my parents have an army." he answered me and then stopped what he was doing.

"C.J. They don't have any family nearby. We need to make sure C.J. doesn't end up in the system or shipped somewhere around the world." I just said and he sighed with a solemn nod.

When he had packed all but the clothes we would be traveling in and our toiletries, he climbed on the bed with me and held me until we had to get up. Neither of us slept at all and we wouldn't for a long time.

We showered together, mainly just holding each other and taking comfort from having each other there. Our kisses and touches were about connecting, telling each other we were there and we wouldn't be going anywhere. That even though we didn't have Garrett and Kate anymore, we had each other.

The housekeeper's husband was worried about us, seeing that we were outright messes. He drove us to the airport and we got to our flight just in time. It was a long flight, hours upon hours of sitting there, thinking about things that we were faced with now.

I was watching out of the window in to the breaking dawn, when Edward's hand slipped in to mine.

"Jasper? Love? There's something we need to talk about." he said and I could feel the hesitance in his tone.

Turning my head to watch him I squeezed his hand a bit.

"What is it? You know that you can talk to me about everything." I said and smiled a bit weakly, his smile matching mine.

Something was off. I could tell it from the way he looked at me.

"I was supposed to do this our last night there. This is not the right time or the place...but...I still want to do this now before we land." he said and dug out something from the pocket of his jeans.

It was a jewelry box and I had no clue of what he was about to do.

"Jasper... I love you, you know that. I know we haven't been together for long but I know when I'm blessed with something I can never let go of." he said opened the box.

Two rings sat inside the box. I gasped and looked from the rings to him and back and I know my mouth hung open.

"Will you spend the rest of your life with me, how ever short or long time that will be?" Edward asked and I could see that he truly wasn't sure what my answer would be.

"Are you stupid?" I asked him and my face spread in to a grin at his startled expression.

"Of course I will. I love you." I whispered to him, reaching my hand up to touch his cheek with my fingers and he tilted his head to the touch and closed his eyes, releasing a breath he had been holding.

"Oh gods you scared me for a while..." he muttered and opened his brilliant green eyes that I had grown to love so much.

He took a ring from the box and held it out for me to take it.

"Read the engraving." he told me and I tilted the ring until I saw the text.

"_J&E, Willingly" _I read it out loud in a whisper and he gave me the other ring. _"E&J, Joyfully"._

He took the ring that said Joyfully and slid it in to my ring finger. I took the other one and placed it on his and then we kissed for a long moment, basking in the feeling of being home no matter how far of our physical home we were and how tragic the situation we were in when we'd get there was.

"I love you." he said when we finally had to breathe properly. His eyes were sparkling with love and devotion and for a moment we were happy.

"I love you too." I smiled and ten added "You were wrong though." and he raised a brow at me.

"Oh?

"Yes, this was the perfect time. Of course I would have given anything for this to have happened in the garden during the sunset but this...right now. How things are... This just makes me love you more, Edward." I told him and a tear rolled down his cheek.

For the rest of the flight we leaned to each other and tried to rest a bit. It wasn't very successful but at least our bodies got some rest, even though I was sure both of our minds were whirring.

It was lovely to get back home and be engaged to the man I loved and wanted to spend my whole life with if I had a say.

Half an hour before the landing I squeezed Edward's hand a bit and he turned his head and looked at me, his eyes so tired and worried it broke my heart a bit more. Wonder if there was any to break soon?

"I wish he'd know we're engaged. I know he'd be ecstatic." I said and Edward wrapped his arms around me in the inconvenient space we sat in.

He let me cry against his chest, smoothing my hair and whispering comforting words to my ear. He was there for me and what ever I had done to deserve him I was glad of that. I didn't know what had turned him in to this person, this loving man who seemed to be able to do anything and be so loving and kind. Maybe he hadn't given himself enough credit before?

I remembered how he had viewed himself in our early discussions. Someone spoiled, a party-boy who never cared for anything but getting high or laid and of course I knew that had been the truth once. But when we met, he was already someone slightly different and he grew when he fell in love with me. Or so Alice had told me. She should know, after all.

Emmett and Rose were waiting for us when we landed. As soon as we got through the gates they practically ran to us and we hugged each other for the longest time. It seemed like we all had cried enough. Rose was a mess, which was completely out of character for her.

I pulled her to the side and just clung on to her for a moment, letting her do her big sister thing. It always cheered her up. I saw Emmett and Edward hugging and talking from the corner of my eye and I was glad that Edward still had him.

"Jasper!!" Rose suddenly squealed and I was shaken out of my thoughts by her looking at my hand.

"What the hell, man?" Emmett bellowed and grabbed Edward's hand and then we were both wrapped in a tight hug and blushing and explaining how we had rings on our fingers and hadn't told them and how they'd kick our asses if we weren't in a public place and so on.

When we were walking to get our baggage, Edward held my hand and sneaked me a glance and a crooked grin. I knew, somehow, that everything would be fine eventually. The grief was there, sure, but the future was there also.

In the car, Rose and Em filled us in. Kate was still alive, barely, but it was only matter of time as her internal injuries were too severe for operating any more. Some of her injuries were just inoperable and there was nothing ever Carlisle could do. He had tried though, they told us.

"How about C.J.?" I asked and Emmett told us that Carlisle had made sure the social services wouldn't take him. The baby was with Esme and him right now, that had been the easiest way for the hospital to organize things.

"Carlisle and your parents already set up a mass of lawyers and stuff. They're trying to figure out what will happen to the baby if there's no will from Garrett and Kate and such. They can't officially move in as long as she's..." Rose's voice faded.

"Alive...yes." I sighed and Edward pulled me closer to himself in the back seat.

We went straight to the hospital and got more hugs from Alice and Carlisle. My parents were resting, they had been there for most of the time.

Edward took my hand and pulled me in to Kate's room. She looked so fragile with the tubes and all the equipment that was attached to her body.

I let go of Edward's hand and walked to her. I stroked her forehead with my fingers, brushing her cheek with my knuckles gently.

"Oh Katie sweetheart..." I sobbed and took in a trembling breath only to feel Edward behind me, ready to support me when needed.

I wanted to say so many things to her. I had no words so I just took her hand in to mine and leaned back to Edward's chest.

"Kate, what Jasper is trying to say... We're missing you already. We know you'll be gone soon. Garrett is gone too. The good thing is that baby C.J. is okay. He's just fine and we'll take care of him somehow. Nothing bad will happen to C.J. or Jasper on my watch, Kate. I promise. If that was what was keeping you here, then you're free to go now, Katie. We love you and Garrett more than we'll ever be able to explain. We'll make sure C.J. never forgets who his parents were." Edward spoke, taking breaks between sentences.

I never knew he had such strength in him. His tone was firm and gentle. He wanted her to hear the words. My tears were running wild at that point and Edward decided we should go.

I choked in a breath and leaned to kiss her.

"We'll go to C.J. now, love. I love you. Tell Garrett I love him when you see him again." I managed to whisper to her ear and then turned with Edward and we walked out of the room, never to see her again.

**xxxXXxxx**

Em took us to the Cullen house and a teary-eyed Esme greeted us there. My parents were to come over there as soon as they had rested some and then we'd make plans, talk things out.

As soon as I went to Edward's old bedroom where a crib was now placed for C.J. I began to relax a bit from the terrible state I had been in ever since the phone call from Rose and Emmett. I stood there, next to the crib and watched the sleeping little boy who had no idea his life was turned upside down.

"At least he got one Christmas with his family. " I heard Edward's voice behind me from the doorway.

"Yes. Alice took a ton of pictures too. Of all of us. He'll always have those, even if he doesn't have any memories." I whispered, so I wouldn't disturb the baby.

"He'll have plenty of more Christmases, he might not have his mom and dad there, but he still has hell of a lot more family than many kids have. Even if none of us is his blood family, I haven't seen many kids that are more loved than he is." Edward said quietly and came to hug me from behind.

We stood there for a long time, knowing each others' thoughts. What if things turned out differently? What if nothing we could do would make C.J. stay with us?

We laid down on Edward's old bed and fell asleep immediately, holding each other. When we woke up, it was afternoon and we were both totally out of it.

At some point Esme had come in and collected the baby as he wasn't in his crib and neither me nor Edward had heard a thing. Blessed jet lag and emotional turmoil.

We woke up, me first, and detached myself from my fiancé and got in to the shower. I was washing my hair when Edward joined me.

This time we made love, we needed to as much as we wanted to. He took me against the wall so gently and slowly I was sure I had never felt so loved in my life. When we got out of the shower, we got dressed to the clothes we kept here for weekends and headed downstairs.

We smiled at each other when we heard both of our mothers cooing at the baby somewhere in the livingroom.

"I'll go make coffee, you go see if they're spoiling him too much." Edward grinned and kissed my cheek before vanishing in to the kitchen.

I walked in on our moms, sitting on the floor with the baby who was laying on his back and playing with one of those toys that are supposed to be fun and train coordination skills at the same time.

"Morning Jasper," Esme called to me and my mom jumped up and rushed to me to hug me tightly.

"Oh honey..." she said and just held me for a while, reaching to my chest and I looked over her head to Esme who smiled at us gently, one mom looking at another one taking care of her child, I suppose.

"Okay, I've done most of the breaking down, so could I please see my godson now before you make me fall to pieces again?" I asked my mother who let go of me and swatted my arm.

"I missed you and this is how you repay me? Where's your boyfriend?" she asked and suddenly the devil took over.

"Oh you mean my fiancé?"

Before either of the women could react, I moved to the baby, picked him up from the floor and walked to the kitchen to Edward, to hide behind him.

He looked at me and C.J. questioningly until the loud conversation started to follow me.

"Nothing...just told them we were engaged." I shrugged and looked as his eyes go wide.

I smiled and concentrated on the baby who was trying to grab my hair but not quite succeeding with it.

"What...where...Jasper?!" my mother exclaimed as soon as she got in to the kitchen.

"Who knows and why weren't we told first and let me see the rings?" Esme was more eloquent even in her mild state of shock.

"On the plane on our way back. Didn't meant to just pop the question like that...was supposed to be more romantic, but I wanted us to be back with the rings on our fingers." Edward spoke to them and wrapped his right arm around my waist, holding out the left hand out to show the ring.

"Mine is like his. Just different engraving." I said and turned myself and the baby so that they could see my ring but didn't explain the engraving-bit. It was very private and they wouldn't ask, I was sure of it.

"Very tasteful, sweetheart. White gold?" my mother asked Edward who nodded.

"I like that it looks like silver. I know that's Jasper's favorite so it was the logical choice." Smiling a bit he leaned his head to my shoulder next to the baby's arm and made faces at C.J.

"I wish it'll all end up fine..." I heard Esme say and when my eyes met hers, I could tell she was worried but optimistic.

"So, boys. What do you want for brunch?" she asked the time began to move again, as it always does.

**xxxXXxxx**

Later in the evening we received word that Kate had passed. It resulted in everyone crying together and I know most of us went to watch C.J. sleep in his crib at some point. There was always someone to run to him when he woke up and cried or needed changing or feeding. The child would be loved. There was no question about that.

When both of our families were present, we began to plan things. Several ideas were thrown around and depending on the exact laws of our state which seemed to be strange and contradicting to everyone in the room.

"They're not simple, which is why we've hired the lawyers just in case. Now that Kate has passed, they can get to the family's papers and such. It should take another week or two for things to be clear, depending on how easily they can contact Kate and Garrett's families." Carlisle went through the details.

"Garrett was from Ireland, but he had some family in Scotland as well." I reminded him and he assured that was being taken care of as well.

We stayed up late, just being there as the extended family we had become. When our parents went to bed, me and Edward, Rose and Emmett and Alice stayed up still and talked about Kate and Garrett and all the 'what ifs' we might be facing.

"If you do get C.J. where will you live?" Alice asked suddenly.

"I hadn't really thought about that yet..." I turned to look at Edward.

"Trust me, you'll need more room than what you have now." Emmett said and we all fell in to silence.

"I could sell my flat and we could get a house somewhere." Edward said thoughtfully.

"And if C.J. inherits their house then maybe you can live there or sell it and then..." Rose began and that's how the rest of the evening went.

Ideas were flying back and forth in the room. We were trying to be prepared for anything to some extent. I hoped that C.J's parents had a will and that neither of their families would want to claim C.J.

All we could do now was to wait.

**xxxXXxxx**

**Author's Note: **I hope you liked it. Whether you did or not, press the little green button under this text and leave me some love/hate. ^^

This story has not been betaed, which shows. Sorry about that. It just isn't my first priority, **Brand New Start** is. :)

I'll try to keep updating this story every week, but don't kill me if I don't as it takes time to write this stuff and I have plenty of stories to work with.

Go check out the **Fandom Gives Back**-site if you haven't yet. It's for a good cause. The information can be found from my profile. Do it for the kids, people. :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer and Author's Note:** I don't own Twilight nor the characters. I own this story.

I don't know anything about how these things go in the legal sense. The laws in the state of Washington seemed something that I couldn't quite decipher. Also, I'm from Europe, so the laws in the States are bunch of gibberish for me anyway.. So this is fiction, might be right or then not. Shoot me if I'm completely wrong. It's a story, deal with it. ;)

It's an angsty little chapter, but it had to be done and you know it. I didn't want to drag it too much so it's short. The next one jumps ahead in time for a few weeks at least. I want to speed things up as the story calls for it in my head at least.

I won't promise you any dates of publishing the next chapter, but things will change still. It won't get as bad as it was before, that much I can promise. I'll try to get the next chapter out in the next few weeks and I promise to write this story until it's properly done.

Now, on to the angst-fest...

**xxxXXxxx**

JPOV

We were nervous. All of us.

We had opted to take Emmett and Rosalie with us to the lawyer's office. He was Garrett and Kate's family lawyer and had called us to set up a meeting and we knew there was something they had left behind for me, we were also hoping it would be something to tell us if they had actually given thought to who would get C.J.

Our own lawyers had told us to go alone and call them if they were needed for some reason. They hoped they wouldn't be, and when I say they, I mean all three of them who our families had hired to sort through everything for us.

So now we sat there. It wasn't quite as sterile as some lawyers' offices were. It was quite homey and there was even a couch next to a wall not far from the smaller than the usual conference-table.

The lawyer who had introduced himself but whose name had escaped me immediately after I heard it because I was nervous, was getting his papers ready, sorting them out. I saw a big envelope next to his right hand on the table.

I was sitting in a comfy chair next to the table, clutching on to Edward's hand and Emmett and Roe were sitting on the couch, having told us they were here for support if we needed it.

Everyone had wanted to come. Both of our parents, Alice, even Sam and Emily had called to see if we needed them. I loved them all for it, but having one person there for each of us was enough and Em and Rose were perfect, Edward's best friend and my sister. Couldn't get much better than that.

The lawyer was speaking and I tried to listen. He noticed I wasn't able to concentrate so he spoke after sighing.

"Why don't we get to these letters then. Mr. Whitlock, Garrett and Kate left you letters in case what has happened to them would indeed happen. I have instructions to read them out loud for you, so would you like to hear them in private or with your fiancé and Mr. McCarty and your sister present?" he asked and it took me a while to understand what he was asking.

I cleared my throat.

"I want them to hear it." I said, sounding a bit rough from all the crying I had been doing lately.

"Very well then." he nodded politely and opened the big envelope, taking out a smaller one he opened.

He looked at each of us before he turned his gaze to the sheet of paper in his hands and began to read.

"_Dear Jasper,_

_if you're having some lawyer person reading this to you, it means both me and Katie have passed away._

_I'm writing this, with Kate by my side, two days before the due-date of our baby. _

_You know how difficult it was for us to get pregnant, how many times we tried and failed and still it seems so strange to have this kind of thing happen, finally. Soon we'll be a real family with a son of our own. _

_Yes, we know it's a boy, we never told you but we wanted to know because we wanted to come up with the name. We did a good job with that, don't you think?_

_Because we've had time and tries to get this family of ours going, we've also tried to cover all the bases in the legal sense. We always knew it wouldn't be easy to have children and that if we did, we wouldn't have any guarantees of things going smoothly._

_My darling Kate came up with this, writing this letter to you and naming you the guardian of our son, in case we both were to pass away while he was still a minor._

_Of course we hope that will never happen. We hope and I pray (you know I was raised Catholic, sue me) that you'll hear about this letter when C.J. is an adult and we can laugh about it._

_If you're listening to this being read to you, we hope it isn't too soon. We hope we got some time with our son. _

_Now Kate is going to take over, know that I'll always love you Jasper, _

_Garrett"_

The lawyer took a break and let us collect ourselves. I was clinging on to Edward's side and trying to keep myself together. I knew he was crying like I was, but he did his best to support me when I most needed him.

It helped to see our hands joined like they were, our rings next to one another like some sort of anchors, keeping me in reality when all I wanted to do was to break down to pieces.

There were endless questions in my mind. Why would they pick me, I had been so badly damaged when they had written that letter.

Clearing his throat, the lawyer interrupted my thoughts and began to read again.

"_Jasper, dear,_

_you're now asking why you, right? You were probably in awe when you heard we were going to name the baby after you. _

_You don't see yourself quite the way we do, that's why you're so surprised now. We know you, how loving and caring you are. You're someone responsible, someone dedicated to the people you love, the most trustworthy person I've met along with Garrett. _

_Who else would I want to raise our son?_

_You know my sisters have families their own and that Garrett doesn't have contact with his family. Our blood families aren't an option. Besides I know you will love C.J. like he was your own. In some sense he is yours too. You were always our family, Jasper. You're our son's family too._

_We love you, and we'll watch over you both,_

_Kate"_

I heard a sob from my right where Rosalie was sitting with Emmett. Looking over, I saw her press her face to his shoulder and her own shook with the silent tears. His eyes were a bit red around the edges as well.

"There was one extra letter in here as well." the lawyer said and all of us looked at him expectantly and with surprisement evident in our expressions.

"Garrett came to me a while ago and told me to add it with the two others. It is directed at Mr. Cullen." he looked at Edward who gasped and I felt him look at me and then glance at Emmett. He was stunned.

"Okay...would you read it to us, please?" Edward asked the lawyer after a moment of silence and the man opened the last envelope and began to read.

_Edward,_

_you and Jasper left for your vacation yesterday and we thought we'd write this bit so that there's something for you in here too._

_How do we know you'll be read this to when Jasper gets his own? We have no clue, but we're sure you're the one Jasper is meant to be for life. That means you'd be C.J.'s other parent if things go bad for me and Kate._

_We've seen how you've grown, not just you but Jasper as well. How you have taken care of our son like your own. How you, Edward, have been with him and how proud you have been with us for every little step of our baby growing up._

_To have you with Jasper is the best gift I can get as his best friend. I know that if myself and Kate have passed, you'll have a child in your hands now. You're suddenly a parent and I hope..no, I know, that you're going to sort things out with the two of you. _

_No matter how old C.J. is, you're going to be fine. Trust yourself. You were able to turn in to the wonderful person you are now and you were able to turn Jasper in to who he should be instead of the man you met. You can handle a child as well._

_I trust you to love and to cherish my best friend. To keep him safe and make sure gets everything he could wish for. I trust you with my Jasper and with my son. My shoes aren't the smallest ones to fit, but I know you'll do just fine. _

_Love, Garrett_

Edward broke down and clutched to me, sobbing his heart out against my neck, efficiently making my shirt soak and somehow it helped me calm down as I thought about him instead of myself. I needed to be here for Edward too, not just the other way around.

"So, what happens now?" Rosalie asked from where they were sitting.

"Mr. Whitlock here has been named as the guardian of the child by his parents, so with the legal documents I have drawn out, if he is willing, he will become the guardian as soon as he signs the papers." the lawyer spoke to Rosalie and then turned to face me.

"Now, Mr. Whitlock, I know that you and Mr. Cullen are engaged. For him to adopt the baby... It's not simple, I'm afraid. You would have a better chance of getting it done once you're married or have been for a year or two. Our judge here...she's a bit... Let's just say she needs to see that same sex couples stick together. Giving the short amount of time you two have been together," he said and held his hand up when Emmett straightened his back and shot him a glance, "no matter how right you two are for each other and having known Garrett personally I know you are," he said and made us all smile a bit, Edward through his tears, "I'd rather make this as easy as possible. We don't want to have to fight too many times. You should go to the battle when you know you're going to win. There is a small child in the middle of all this." he said and I nodded.

We had a lot to think about.

"Also, I'll be reading their will next week, as I'm hoping Kate's sisters or at least one of them will be present. I can, however, tell you off the record, that C.J. will be inheriting the house. Right now, if you sign these papers, you can take the baby home from where he is now and start being his real parents." the lawyer, I finally remembered his name too, smiled warmly at us and I got up to sign the papers.

After a short conversation and coordinating our schedules we agreed on a time for the will to be read.

We headed to the Cullen house, Emmett and Rose went to pick up Em's girls from Bella's and I could tell something was troubling Emmett. So could Edward, but he didn't ask.

"What do you think it is?" I asked him as he drove towards the Cullens'.

"I don't know. What ever it is, he doesn't want to add his worries to ours. Rose hasn't said a thing?" he asked me and I shook my head.

"Nope."

"Well, what ever it is he'll come clean when he's ready." he said and sighed.

Then suddenly he glanced at me and grinned.

"What?" I asked, grinning back reflexively.

"We get to take C.J. home. For real. He has a home again, with us. He's not just staying somewhere, but he'll be home where ever we are." he beamed at me before looking at the road again.

I took in his words. They were about the baby. Not what we were getting, but what C.J. was getting. He wasn't thinking about us and what we wanted, he was thinking about the baby's needs first, that the little boy needed parents and a home, even though he was perfectly content where he was now.

The thought of that made me fall in love with Edward a bit more.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** I own my words, S. Meyer owns everything Twi.

**A/N:** Thanks for the support, sweethearts. I've gotten lots of it lately and I'm honestly thankful. I hope this chapter was worth the wait and that you keep reading my other stuff too.

This chapter jumps in time a bit as I wanted to get things going without the legal stuff which I know I'd totally fail to write realistically. So this is what I came up with. Tiny bit of angst but not too much I hope. And lemons. Oh yes, lemons...

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

**Willingly and Joyfully**

Chapter 4

EPOV

I was in the shower at our flat. It was maybe ten in the evening and I was tired as hell. I had been at home with C.J. while Jasper tried to sort out the things with the shop with Rose. It happened to be time for inventory and that took lot of time and effort. Both Jasper and Rose were working overtime and Leah was there working her ass off every day too, even when she wasn't supposed to be there she was. Can't blame the girl for disloyalty.

Jasper had come home around seven and taken C.J. from me and just told me to go sleep for a while. The baby was a handful, I would never ever look at stay at home mom's the same way. Of course I loved the baby, that wasn't it at all. I wanted this to work out, I did. But... I was almost ready to call one of our moms because frankly it was getting to be a bit too much. I hadn't slept properly in the last week, the last few days were mostly autopiloting around with the baby in my arms.

He was teething. So he was cranky and woke up every now and then and calmed down only with someone's hand on him. C.J. was lovely, when he had a good moment he was the light of my day. When he was miserable, I was in hell. And Jasper was at work.

I couldn't blame him, really. How could I? I mean it was his business, his and Rose's. It was them who needed to take care of it to secure their livelihood, hell, that of the baby and partially me too. So I was just doing what every stay at home parent would: I was taking care of the baby.

It was a leap. From my partying habit to this. Being engaged to someone I loved more than anything. Being a full time dad to a baby that was around seven months old now. From having nothing but myself in to having a family in just a bit over half a year.

I sighed and rubbed my body with my soapy hands and tried to relax like Jasper had told me to do. He was stressed too, I could tell, but he still wanted to take care of C.J. when he got home and I loved him for that. I heard clothes put in to the hamper and looked through the glass door of the shower.

Jasper, in all his naked glory. Oh God how I missed him... Sex was another thing that stress, tiredness and a teething baby took away pretty efficiently.

"Week, eh?" he asked as he stepped in to the shower, looking tired.

"Yes, give or take...a few hours." I said, making him chuckle.

That was how long we had gone without sex, not that I was counting...

He wrapped his arms around me and dipped his head under the water.

"C.J. is asleep. Finally." he sighed a bit and pressed himself flush against me, just holding me and we stood like that for a few minutes under the warm water.

Slowly Jasper's hands began to move, stroking the muscles of my back and I smiled in to his neck.

"Let's get you clean. I think my legs won't carry me for much longer." I told him and he smiled just a little.

"Yeah, you've been carrying him all day, haven't you?" he asked with a tiny frown and I nodded.

We finished the shower and got in to bed. Jasper smiled at me in a very loving way which made the pit of my stomach flutter.

"Roll over, your back seems to be really tense. I'll give you a back rub before I pass out." he said and I could tell he was tired but this was something he wanted to do for me.

Obediently I rolled to my stomach and winced as I tried to relax my muscles. Another thing they never tell you is that you get sore from carrying a baby around when he doesn't want to be left alone for one moment.

Jasper took the massage oil, lavender which was supposed to be relaxing ironically enough, and warmed it in his hands as he straddled my thighs and then began to work with the kinks in my back. There had never been that many in my back before.

"We need some couple-time." he said suddenly, while working on my upper back.

I hummed a response, too tired and relaxed to speak.

"It's been over a month now, with C.J. I bet your parents or mine would love to take him for just a while. Like a weekend. He's so little that he won't miss us too much yet." he spoke in a quiet tone and I hummed again.

He chuckled a bit. "You're relaxing a bit too much. I did have an ulterior motive..." he said a bit huskily and shifted, rubbing his cock against my ass, making me very much awake all of a sudden.

"And what would that motive be?" I asked, feigning innocence at him and he chuckled again.

"How about you just lay down like that and I'll do the work?" he asked and I swallowed at the tone of his voice.

"S-sure..." That was all I managed to get out. Frankly, it had been a while since I bottomed and well this would be interesting because of his tone; he was getting possessive and I knew it would be an interesting ride, all puns intended.

I wanted to ask if he was sure, 'what about the baby?' being the question in my mind. But think about movies, if someone asks that question, doesn't the baby always wake up in the middle? So I didn't ask and neither did Jasper.

He grabbed the lube and as soon as I felt his finger in me I let out an incoherent moan. Okay so week was out of the question. Never again. Seriously.

Almost losing myself in the prepping alone, I was almost startled when he pulled his fingers out and stopped for a moment. I nodded and he pretty much plunged into me as I bit the pillow to muffle the cries that wanted to get loose.

Have you ever heard the expression 'to fuck someone into the mattress'? That was what Jasper was doing to me. I had never been so close of coming so fast and his words to my ear, how much he wanted me, how he was going to fuck me until I'd see stars...

My cock was sandwiched between me and the bed and when Jasper could tell I was getting close he lifted himself off me enough to pull my hips up and grab my cock.

Suddenly it happened.

There was a whimper from the other room and the whimper turned in to a sobbing and then a cry and I was so fucking close and I knew Jasper was too.

"Jasper, stop, the baby..." I breathed and for a few seconds I thought he wouldn't.

Then he pretty much rolled off me, pulling out of me and he was surprisingly quiet. I had no time to pay attention, I just got up and grabbed my robe from the end of the bed, feeling my arousal disappear as soon as it had appeared.

I rushed to the living room where the crib was, once again thinking that we seriously needed a bigger place and grabbed the baby from where he was crying.

"It's okay C.J, Edward's here..." I cooed to his ear and he began to calm down immediately.

For about half an hour I walked with the baby around the living room and in to the kitchen and around the island and then the couches and passed the window...the route was always same. When he relaxed in my arms again, I carefully placed him back to the crib and walked to the bedroom.

To my surprise, Jasper was still awake.

He was leaning to the headboard and looking out of the window. When he heard me come to the room he looked at me and I was amazed to see hurt in his eyes. Rejection.

"Oh no no no...baby..." I whispered, dropping my robe and crawling in to bed to wrap my arms around him.

He tensed immediately but I didn't let him go.

"I know we needed this. I know that, Jasper. I love you. It's just not us anymore, you know that as well as I do. C.J. comes first now." I spoke to his hair and I could feel him nodding a bit.

"I know that..." he whispered and I could tell he was making a conscious effort to relax in my arms.

"I would never reject you or hurt you and you know that." My words were spoken in a loving tone, probably the truest words I had ever spoken in my life.

He turned and slid down to lay with his head against my abdomen and sighed deeply.

"It's still him...I still let him rule my thoughts sometimes." he whispered and I stroked his hair in a soothing way.

Paul, that bastard. How I hoped I had kicked his ass properly that night. It felt like an eternity ago but I could still feel the rage bubble inside me.

"But he's long gone now, Jasper. You have me now."

"Are you sure you want us to get married one day?" he asked suddenly, so quietly I wasn't sure if I heard him right at first.

All my movements stopped. My hand froze in his hair and I forgot to breathe.

"How...how could you ask that?" I blinked and suddenly there were tears in my eyes I was so shocked.

Looking up at me he seemed to realize how totally and utterly shocked I was. Jasper scrambled up on the bed, held my face and looked at me with worry.

"Edward, honey, I didn't mean it..." he looked at me, his eyes full of sorrow from hurting me.

"Then...why would you..." I managed to gasp as the tears continued to fall.

I felt like he had punched me. For a moment I thought he didn't want me, that he didn't want the family we now had. I thought he wanted to get rid of me after all. That I wasn't good enough for him. The mere thought made me gasp again.

"Insecurity, baby, that's all it was. I'm so sorry Edward. I'll never say such thing again. You and the baby are my everything and you know that. I'm so sorry." His voice was quiet and passionate and I believed him.

This time it was him who held on to me.

I woke up to his alarm the next morning. Somehow even the baby was exhausted enough to let us sleep for proper amount.

When I realized I was still in Jasper's arms I smiled. He had moved us so that he could lay down comfortably but had never let me go which I appreciated. I leaned over him to cut the alarm before kissing his bare chest, both the flawless skin and the scarred side. I didn't know which was more my Jasper anymore. He was perfect just as he was.

"Morning, baby. Coffee?" I asked and he groaned but nodded but smiled a bit too.

I slipped out of bed and went to relieve myself and brush my teeth. Then I managed to get in to kitchen and put the coffee on and warm up C.J.'s bottle before he woke up.

For one reason or the other the baby was a sunshine this morning. It was like he had recharged his batteries and was a different little boy from the last few days of chaos and crying.

"Who's my little boy..." I picked him up and he gurgled at me, smiling ear to ear. "Silly baby, aren't you?" I cooed and he made a little giggling sound that made me grin widely.

"Okay, what did you give him?" Jasper asked from the doorway, buttoning his shirt, his hair still damp from the quick shower I had heard him take.

"Sleep? I suppose that's all he needed." I grinned and he came to kiss us both.

For a moment we stood there, C.J. in my arms and Jasper's arms around us both.

"Coffee, bottle?" Jasper asked and I nodded as he went to get us all our morning drinks before he'd go to work, again.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Later in the day my cellphone rang and I picked it up as I watched C.J. crawl backwards on the floor.

"Hello dear!" I heard my mother's voice and smiled.

"Hey mom, what's up?" I asked and chuckled at C.J. who was trying to figure out how come he couldn't move anymore because his feet were against the wall suddenly.

"I'm just calling to see if you and Jasper wanted us to watch the baby for a few days?"

"Erm...yeah. I think we would like that. Some us-time, you know." I said and she giggled a bit.

"Sweetheart, I raised you and your sister, trust me, I know."

I chuckled and then suddenly my phone beeped for a call on the other line.

"Hey mom, Emmett is calling me, can I call back to you, I've been a bit worried about him lately."

"Okay, sure, but you need explain that to me then." She said before disconnecting our call.

"Hey Em, what's up?" I asked and for some reason his usual hello didn't feel so happy-go-lucky as it normally did.

"Ed, do you think you and Jasper could come over tonight? For a dinner? Maybe get one of your parents watch the baby?" he asked and before I had time to think I did what any good friend would do.

"Absolutely. My mom just called anyway so it's not a big deal." I'm sure I heard Emmett sigh.

What the fuck was up??

"Okay.. Could you be here around seven thirty? Rose is making me cook." he said and I could hear the smile.

"Lasagna at seven thirty it is then." I let my grin be heard in my voice and finally Emmett chuckled a bit.

"See you then, bro." he said and we hung up.

I went to turn the baby around before he got too upset and gave him more room to move in his newly found way. Jasper's mom had told us Jasper did the same thing before he figured out he could go forward too. It was funny nonetheless.

Dialing my mom's number I plopped down on the couch where I could see C.J.

"Edward, is everything okay with Emmett?" she asked immediately and I loved her a bit more for that.

Emmett was like a son to her and she loved him to bits.

"Honestly...I'm a bit worried. I don't know. We'll find out tonight what it is that's bothering him. He called me to ask us for dinner at his...their place." Correcting myself in the middle automatically, Rose was living with Emmett nowadays.

"Okay, well we'll take the baby of course. Could you drop him off maybe before his nap time?" my mom asked.

"You're an angel, you know that, right?" I chuckled and almost felt her wide, radiant smile I loved so much through the phone.

"I know darling, I know. I'll be home all day so just when ever you get his things packed." she said and I promised we'd be there in an hour.

Packing the baby's things, diapers, clothes, his favorite toys and his blanket I looked around. C.J. was laying on his back on the floor, watching me walk around the place.

"Better not forget you, right?" I grinned at him and he giggled at me.

My mother as well as Jasper's parents, had insisted we never took any of the baby's formulas and food with him because they had stocked their kitchens for him anyway. It was endearing, really. I was sure those households had more stuff for him than our own did. They had lost Kate and Garrett just like we had but they certainly had taken it to heart to make C.J. feel welcome in the family. They all called themselves his grandparents and loved him as much as Jasper and I did.

The drive to my parents' was short and even though my mother was clearly worried about Emmett she was happy to get her first grandchild all for herself for a few days.

"So you're going to go eat lasagna tonight?" My mother greeted me at the door. Emmett's cooking skills were limited to lasagna but it was amazingly good and Esme made him bring it to the family occasions sometimes.

"Oh yes, which is nice for a change, haven't had any in a few months now." I said and kissed the top of the baby's head and closed my eyes for a moment, inhaling his lovely pure scent.

"Call me if there's something, okay? Anything at all." I think I said all the same things any nervous parent would say.

Giggling at me she took the baby from me. "Oh dear...I never thought you'd be this man, but I'm so proud of you it makes my heart swell." she said and leaned to kiss my cheek as I leaned down to her. I kissed C.J. and lifted his bag inside the door and left before my tears would betray how much Esme's words meant to me.

Honestly, I never thought I'd be this man either. But now I was someone's fiance, someone else's stay at home dad and I felt whole. No more was there that urge to do something with my life. I was doing the most important thing anyone could do and I knew it.

I drove back home and cleaned the flat before Jasper got home at four. He had promised me this morning that he'd be home by four even if it meant leaving things hanging at work.

When I heard the door open, I was putting the last stuff back in the fridge I had just cleaned from top to bottom. I was wearing my torn jeans and a white tank top and I could literally hear Jasper swallow hard when he saw me.

"How was your day?" I asked like there was nothing special about our home looking so tidy and me being there in the clothes he found extremely sexy. Oh, and no baby in sight.

"I...erm...it was...fine." he swallowed again as he walked to me. "The baby?" he breathed in to my neck, almost hesitant to touch me.

"At my parents' house for a few days." That's as much as I had time to say when I yelped as he pushed me against the counter, his erection pressing against my ass, making me moan.

There was something utterly primal about his growl as he ground his cock against my ass, knowing there would be no distractions this time.

I have no idea how we got as far as the bedroom but when we were undressing each other hastily and I couldn't get the buttons of his shirt open fast enough, he pushed my hands away and ripped the shirt open. The buttons flew everywhere and suddenly I laughed so hard I had to clutch my stomach.

He stopped moving, looking at me like I just lost my marbles. Jasper tried to understand me and I just pointed at the closest button on the floor as I sat down on the edge of the bed.

"We need to...pick those up...the baby...crawls here..." I managed to choke out and then he was laughing as well. It was certainly the first time we had to think of such thing.

It felt good to laugh with him. We hadn't laughed like that in a while, there had been tears and grief and then fear of losing the baby and adjusting to the new life as a family. I could see the tears of laughter in Jasper's eyes and I extended my hand to him, pulling him on top of me as I crawled backwards to get to the middle of the bed.

"I love you, Jasper." I told him as the laughter finally died down completely and all that was left was love.

"I love you, Edward." He said and leaned to kiss me gently.

For the longest time we just kissed and got rid of the rest of our clothes. We could take our time now and we were using the opportunity to reconnect.

When he finally reached for the lube and gave it to me, I grinned at him.

"No, baby. I think you pretty much started something last night. How about we finish it?" I asked and realized my tone was husky.

He grinned beautifully and once again I couldn't comprehend how someone would think him ugly because something like his scars. Jasper was the most beautiful man I had ever seen in my life. And he was mine.

Instead of taking the route from the previous night, he prepped me gently and lovingly, kissing me through it all and making me quiver with anticipation.

I didn't know where we got the restraint all of a sudden. From the frantic need of the previous night to this seemed like a massive leap but then again this was what we needed the most right now.

Jasper knelt on the bed and I raised my feet up, smirking at him. His smile was playful and his eyes darkened as he positioned himself and lifted my lower body until my knees were on his shoulders and my heels touched his back.

"Hmm..." Was all I said, smirking again and the smirk was quickly replaced by a gasp as he plunged into me and my eyes rolled back from the intensity of the feeling.

"Oh...God..." He gasped and for a moment he just let me adjust to the position and looked at me from above.

The need and love shining from his eyes...I almost wanted to cry at that. I nodded and he began to move slowly. In and out of me. There was something loving in the way he moved and as much as I wanted to I couldn't keep my eyes open when the pleasure overtook me and got lost in it completely.

I fisted the sheets as he pounded in to me faster and with more force as we began to climb higher towards our orgasms. Suddenly I felt his hand on my cock and cried out at the feeling. He slowed down his thrusts, making sure he hit my sweet spot every time and when I opened my eyes I saw the determination in his. He wanted me to get there first, give me the pleasure before he took any for himself.

His hand pumped faster as his thrusts kept steady and slow.

"I'm...almost..." I gasped and Jasper thrusted in to me with force, staying buried in me as I writhed and came all over his hand and my abs and chest.

I realized he was moving again when he let my legs drop down until my feet touched the mattress again. Leaning to kiss me he picked up the pace and I slid my hands in between us to rub his nipples roughly. He moaned in to my mouth and I pinched his nipples between my thumbs and forefingers and he exploded in to me, calling out my name as he spasmed through his ecstasy.

After a moment of just laying there like that, him as a pleasant weight on top of me, I kissed his temple.

"Baby, we need to get in to the shower. Emmett called, we're going to dinner to their place." I spoke in a quiet tone as if not to disturb the sudden calm and peace around us.

"Mhmm... Rose was strange all day..." he said, "makes sense now. Any idea why?" he asked as he slid out of me and got up, pulling me with him.

"No, none what so ever." I frowned as Jasper was turning the water on in the shower.

"Yay, we're getting lasagna for dinner." he said suddenly in an enthusiastic tone and made me chuckle.

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**A/N:** Okay, sorry about leaving it hanging again. But it's a long and serious conversation and I didn't want this to be one toooooo long chapter. It's already over 4k words so no whining about it. ;)

As always, reviews keep me writing this one.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: **Still not mine. The fluff and the angst are both mine though.

**A/N: **This is just spoiling you, I know. It poured out of my head. Couldn't help it. Sorry. ;)

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**Willingly And Joyfully**

Chapter 5

JPOV

It was a nice surprise to come home from work to see my love dressed like that. When we made love, it was reconnecting and truly making love instead of fucking like it almost turned out to be the night before.

Was I ashamed? Yes. After everything, when Edward fell asleep in my arms after I... Why did I say something like that? Why did I doubt him? The shock and hurt in his eyes when froze suddenly when my insecurity got the best of me. I regretted those words instantly.

After he fell asleep I stayed awake for about an hour and listened to him breathe. The baby was peaceful at last and I hoped the next day would be better for us all.

It would certainly turn out different than any day we had shared before.

In the shower after one of the most intensive times of making love to each other, we tried not to speculate about what we'd hear. There had been too much sorrow and grief around us in the last months. We hoped so much that it wouldn't be anything too bad.

Being worried about Emmett, I was restless like Edward was as we got dressed. Rose had been a bit off somehow for the last few days or even longer but now she couldn't hide it from me anymore. The fact that she was trying worried me a lot. She never hid things from me but I somehow knew it was because she loved me and Edward and didn't want to add to our new family-stress.

When I was pulling my socks on, I saw Edward meticulously search for all the buttons that had flown around the room. I chuckled and he grinned at me but no words were necessary.

It was cold outside so we got dressed warmly and got in to Edward's car and drove to the little house Emmett and now my sister as well lived in.

There was a new car on their driveway, something red and shiny and very expensive. I raised my brow at Edward who just shook his head as we were getting out of the car. He didn't know either.

Walking to the front door we held hands and I squeezed his reassuringly, what ever it was we were in this together too, just like we had been in everything else so far. His crooked little smile warmed my heart and I leaned to kiss him.

"Oh come on now. No food for you if you don't stop that." Emmett bellowed from the doorway.

"What, it's not like you haven't seen us make out before." Edward rolled his eyes at him and I followed him in to the house.

After getting our coats and winter boots off we walked in to the living room where Emmett told us to go.

There was a fire in the fireplace and Rose was sitting in an armchair, smiling at us but she looked slightly nervous somehow.

"Hey guys." she said and swallowed.

That's when I heard the bathroom door in the hall and turned to look at...Bella??

Edward looked at her too and then we looked at each other.

"Evening, Edward and Jasper." she said somehow shyly and went to sit on the couch.

"Okay, so, could someone please explain this to us before we lose it?" Edward said out loud the words I was thinking.

"Let's sit down." Emmett said from behind us and ushered us further in to the living room. He sat on the other armchair and Rose immediately went to sit on his lap.

I pulled Edward with me to the couch and Bella squished herself against the other end to make us room.

"Who goes first?" Bella looked at Rose and Emmett who glanced at each other, having some sort of silent conversation.

"Oh for fuck's sake already." I huffed and everyone looked at me, surprised because I never used such language.

"Okay okay..." Emmett said and held up a hand and the girls went quiet, waiting for him to speak.

"I've...no, we've been so strange lately," he nodded to Rose, "because there are things going on in our lives we have had to sort out. Bella is involved with this and we had to sort of figure out, to a point, what we wanted to do before we could tell you because what we're thinking is sort of involving you to it as well." he said and then ran his fingers through his short, curly hair.

I noticed Rose's fingers on his other wrist, tracing soothing circles on his skin.

Bella coughed a bit, "About two months ago I had a job offer from California."

Both myself and Edward frowned a bit and looked at her.

"Yeah...a good one. Like once in a lifetime kind of deal." she sighed and looked at Emmett for help.

"The question was, what do we do with the girls. I mean I have my business to run and Bella will be crazy busy there for at least a month before she settles in." Emmett said and Rose spoke up.

"I have a business too, with Jasper. And you guys have the baby now so it's not like I can add to your workload." My sister said and I nodded, she was right about that.

"On top of all that, Rose figured out something else..." Bella said and there was a small, kind smile on her lips.

Rose blushed and Emmett began to glow suddenly.

"No way." Edward looked at them and Rose nodded vigorously.

"Yeah, we're going to have a baby too." she smiled and I think I gawked at her before she bounced me, more or less, seeing the tears streaming down my face.

I was so happy for her. For Emmett too of course but this was her first baby, one she had been wanting for so long. After all the hugging and crying and stuff we all settled down on our previous spots.

"So that does change a lot." Edward was the one to speak up and everyone nodded, including me.

"We kept going about different ideas, because not only does this change the fact that Rose will be on maternity leave eventually, we need to figure out where the girls will stay and such, but also...how would they fit in this house?" Bella spoke and I nodded, the house was too small for Emmett and the girls as it was.

"So where do we come in in this all?" Edward asked suddenly and squeezed my hand.

"Well we know how small Jasper's flat is, right?" Emmett started and Edward and I both nodded at him. "And if Jasper has to work more when Rose is on maternity leave you'd be alone more." he continued and we nodded again.

"Jasper you remember the Richardson's that live not far from mom and dad?" Rose asked me and I nodded, not really knowing where she was getting at.

"Mom told us that they were moving to Florida and selling their house. As soon as possible." she said and I began to get where they were going with this.

"Exactly, so what we were thinking was that because the house apparently has two sides to it and a big yard and stuff, that what if we all, excluding Bella of course, would sell the flats and this house and buy that house together?" Emmett said and the silence fell for a moment as we thought about it.

Edward looked at me, trying to figure out what I thought about it.

"The house they're speaking of is like two miles from my parents' place. It's not massive but it's really built for two families and it has a garden that's really huge and a pool and everything." I said in a thoughtful tone and Edward nodded at me.

"It would mean I wasn't alone and neither would Rose when the baby comes. You know you'll have to work more and probably hire someone, maybe Leah, to work for you while Rose is gone." he said and smiled a bit, almost hopefully.

That's when I realized he had thought for a moment that he'd be left alone with C.J. while I was working more than ever.

"The house sounds wonderful, so that's why I thought the girls would be better off here with all you guys than taken away from their friends and to another city where they would be surrounded by strangers while I'd be stressed from work..." Bella's voice drifted off.

I could tell it was hard for her, as a mom, to let go of her kids even like this but I couldn't really blame her. The girls were big enough to miss everything back here and being with nannies and stuff...it wasn't right.

"Can we afford it?" I asked Rose and Emmett who nodded.

"If you get both of your places sold and I think you will, there's a market for this kind of little house right now or so the real estate agent I consulted said. Rose's flat should go too with a decent enough price. So yeah, we could afford it. And if there has to be a loan, then we'll figure it out as we go. It shouldn't be anything major though." Emmett said and I nodded again.

"Weren't we promised lasagna?" Edward said suddenly, pretty much telling them we needed time to think and I squeezed his hand a bit, appreciating the break from the conversation.

Emmett got up from under Rose and went to check on the food and called us to the table soon enough. The girls had been talking about babies, no surprise there, and Edward had put his word in every now and then when he had something to say. I just sat there, thinking about this and occasionally smiling at Edward who looked at me like he was searching a way to read my thoughts.

At the table we drank a bit of wine, except Rose who made us all grin happily at the show she put on about getting Emmett to get her some water instead. The food was excellent like it always was. Emmett truly knew his way around the lasagna if that was all he could really cook.

When he were stuffing ourselves with cheesecake, Bella had brought some with her, and coffee, the last question came up.

"How long until we have to decide?" Edward asked suddenly and Rose spoke up.

"The Richardsons would love to sell the house to us but they need a decision and a sale at the end of the months. So two weeks tops." Rose frowned and I sighed a bit.

It was soon. Of course I was certain some of our best decisions had been done in very little or no time at all but this was something massive.

When we finally got back home it seemed empty without C.J. there but we were happy to have some alone time anyway.

After checking in with Esme, the baby was fine and sleeping, we got undressed and into bed with a bottle of wine and some candles around the bedroom to give us some nice, romantic light.

Some music was streaming in from Edward's iPod and I grinned when I realized it was Damien Rice. My fiance really loved me, didn't he?

We laid there in our bed for a long time, just soaking in the warmth from the candles, wine, music and each other. Both knowing we had needed this so much there was no need to fill the space with talking. My head rested on Edward's shoulder and his arm was around me while we both had our glasses in our free hands.

"We can't live here forever, he's just getting bigger every day and will eventually need his own room." I said at some point and Edward hummed.

"Rose would be lonely and it would be nice for you two to have some help. Think about her alone with a baby and the girls when they're not in school." I chuckled and Edward's shoulders shook with laughter.

"Oh gods...do you think your sister knows what she's signing up for?" he asked and I shook my head.

"She has no clue." I grinned but of course I was happy for Rosalie.

"Poor Bella though, even if she'd see the girls over holidays and she'd come over when she could...can't be easy for her." Edward said and I frowned too.

"No...but the job offer...did you hear about the benefits and her salary? Seriously...it was amazing and truly a once in a lifetime opportunity like she said."

Edward sighed a bit, "Can't be easy, I mean being apart from C.J. seems so strange already so just...I don't know." he took a sip of his wine. "But I do think they're doing the best thing for the girls. They shouldn't be torn away from here and they'll have a sibling and everything. A full family, even if their mom can't see them so often." Edward said and I nodded in agreement.

"Do you think we should do this?" I asked him and he looked at me.

"Your sister still intimidates me sometimes..." he started and I laughed at his playful expression, "but yes. I think we should. It would be multiple birds with one stone and honestly it's the perfect solution." he said and I smiled at his budding enthusiasm.

"I think so too. I mean it's the perfect way for us to get a big family, a proper house we couldn't afford with a yard like that unless we took a massive loan and it would solve so many things for us and them too..."

"What's the house like?" Edward asked me and looked like a kid in a candy store.

I began to explain him about it and we thought it extremely lucky that it wasn't too far from his parents but very close to mine and Rose's. It would be perfect, really. He got more and more into the idea as I went through my memories about the house, the Richardsons were friends of our parents but their children had moved away from the town long ago. I could understand why they'd want us to buy the house with so many memories in it.

Even though we reached the decision while we discussed it we decided to sleep on it as it truly was quite a lot so fast. We'd call Em and Rose in the morning and begin to sort it out.

It was Rose's turn to open the shop in the morning so I wasn't worried about that and I'd call in Leah to go work in my place for tomorrow anyway, we needed to get the show on the road, contact Edward's tenant and our real estate-people and so on.

The rest of the night we fooled around. Drank some wine and made love and drank some more wine. We didn't speak much, just enjoyed each other and reconnected as much as we could with our baby-free time.

I don't know how many times we both came that night. It didn't matter much as it was so much more than the mere physical side of the love we shared. When we finally decided to clean up it was about four in the morning and we needed to get some rest too. We weren't too drunk, luckily, but it was still hilarious to clean up and change the sheets and we were so tired and giggly it took us time to get back to bed and actually fall asleep.

There were no doubts. We were a family now and we'd share our lives together and live as one big and rowdy family with Rosalie, Emmett and the girls and our babies. It would be lovely, difficult too but it would be rewarding and we'd always have someone around and none of us would ever feel alone.

With a smile on my lips I kissed Edward who smiled sleepily back at me and looked around once more to see if we put all the candles out.

"They're all out, I double-checked already. Sleep now, love." I murmured to his ear and he smiled.

"Night baby. Love you." he mumbled and sighed happily, making me smile widely again.

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**A/N: **Okay. I don't know how this continues from here or if it will. Probably not anytime soon anyway. I might do an epilogue eventually, jump even more in time to show you how it all turns out for them in the coming years.

I hope you enjoyed the ride with these boys, it wasn't an easy or pleasant one at times but I'll miss them tremendously. However, I have so many other things to write at the moment that it is impossible for me to keep writing everything at the same time. This, I think, was a nice ending for this chapter of their lives.

Thanks for everyone who read it all. The epilogue might appear eventually. :)


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